Let me just get The Following stuff out of the way before I get to this mess of a post. The Following. For two seasons it was more of a disappointment than anything. I was excited about this show. I loved the premise. The execution failed. There was some good stuff within these two seasons. And there was also some good ideas and good bad guys that just failed. I actually quit at some point during the second season, but this is one of those shows that hubby actually watches with me. Not just because it's what I have on. So he wanted to keep watching. I gave in. We have fun making fun of the show. I rewrote the first season for him. He helped with the second.
That being said, I feel like the third season is really killing it. And now that I've said that it's probably going to die a horrible death. This season has seen some amazing killers. I'm pretty sure I've freaked hubby out for life by how intrigued I was by one. I was curious how he did his thing! Purely scientific. Also might use it in a story someday. And now we have this like superstar killer in the form of Michael Ealy. And there are things happening this season that I've been dying for since the beginning of season one. I'm not even kidding.
It's no secret that I'm a shipper. This show is no different. Well, it's different in that even though I ship Ryan/Mike and Ryan/Joe I don't actually ship them romantically. It's more like they should just have some awesomely hot sex and be done with it. At this point, none of those three are capable of a relationship. But the show keeps trying. Just stop it already show. The Joe and Ryan stuff has been everything I could have hoped for this season. And I hope it keeps going the way I want. It's like they got inside my brain. That's how awesome it is. And I can't say anything because it's spoilers. But this last episode. It was what I wanted. And Joe and Ryan had a MOMENT. And I don't mean in the romantic sense. At least not for me. I'm sure others see it that way and that's fine. The romance for them is just not for me. And no matter what happens now, I will always have that MOMENT. That episode, that MOMENT- they were EVERYTHING.
Enough of that. On to some depressing stuff and some not so depressing stuff. These past few months have been pretty rough for me. Not all of it, but overall. I was doing better and then suddenly I wasn't. That was nothing compared to these past few weeks, and worst of all, my birthday weekend. I've been working through it. I've been knitting through it. But there is one thing that I absolutely have to stop doing, and that's comparing myself to other people. Just because other people are writing books while they're depressed, doesn't mean that's something I should be doing. Even if their depression is worse than mine. I don't compare myself to other writers. Why would I do it with this? It's stupid. And it's not as if I'm doing nothing. I enjoy writing short stories. And I'm okay with taking things slow right now. But sometimes I'm not and I wish those feelings would go away.
It hasn't been all bad. March is rodeo month in Austin, and we found out this year that no matter how badly I feel, I can rodeo. I might not cheer or I might look like a zombie, but I'm still enjoying myself. Really enjoying myself. I just might not be able to express that. There's something else that the rodeo does for me. I've always had mild anxieties. Never anything too bad. With the depression came an increase in anxieties and my total and complete lack of ability to deal with them. I am comfortable at the rodeo. It's completely ridiculous, but I don't care. I feel like I belong there. I am confident there. And I own it. I feel good there, so even if I'm not having a great day, I drag my ass there. And never regret it. Even music from the rodeo makes me feel good. And yes. I totally have a rodeo playlist. Whatever.
We were thinking about possibly going to Vegas at the end of the year for the rodeo finals, but with how I've been feeling, it might not be the best idea. As much as I love the rodeo, travel has been rough for me lately. As a nice compromise we are considering getting season tickets for the rodeo here in Austin next year. Then I could go all fifteen nights instead of just a few. And it's a rodeo we know I can go to no matter what.
The rodeo was certainly interesting this year. The animals had personality like I've never seen before at a rodeo. That's always entertaining. There were some injuries. Not unsurprising. Not sure how bad one of them was. We weren't there that night and the live feed cuts off. Something that I've never seen before is a bullfighter getting hurt. And I don't mean bumped. I mean he couldn't walk on that one leg. There was no blood. Something probably tore. Or was pulled. Or I don't know. It wasn't that he was injured that bothered me. Not really. It was that he couldn't walk. So when the bull was still out in the arena he actually dragged himself to the edge of the arena and out of harm's way. That's not really something you forget. I think when I get the rights back to Eight Seconds I'll expand it and add an injury like that in. I'd like to make a novella or novel out of that story anyway. I love the rodeo too much to not keep writing about it.
Speaking of writing. The thing about having a sucky few months is not wanting to be on any form of social media at all. And not wanting to write blog posts. Even when I've had short story acceptances. I have two short stories coming out in June. One is with Dreamspinner Press. It's for their Never Too Late Daily Dose Anthology. One short story a day for the month of June. My story for that is called Coffee, Pop, and Bisexuality. It's about a man who is just shy of fifty and going on his first date with another man. I had a lot of fun writing this story and I'm super excited to be a part of this. I've actually read an author that's part of this anthology. And I have books by another. Just haven't gotten around to reading them yet. So this feels huge.
My other acceptance is with Torquere Press. I'll be a part of their Family Time Anthology. This short story, Assumptions, is about the teenage daughter of two men. She's going on her first date and her parents assume it's with a guy. This story tried to kick my ass a few times, but I won in the end.
I'm working on a few more short stories. A couple of them are due soon and one is due a bit later in the year. Once I get these short stories knocked out I'm going to work on my dolphin shifter novella for the rest of the year. I'd like to submit it this year. If possible. I also really want to work on some more fanfic. I'd like to at least make a dent in some of those stories this year. It really helps that now I have a writing buddy. We share our work with each other. Kind of like a critique partner, actually. It's been super nice. And helpful.
Other than that, my reading has been slow, but that doesn't really bother me much because I've been doing a lot of knitting. The knitting helps.
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